Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
