i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
