I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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