Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
