Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
