I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
