Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dick very happy bro
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
