Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
