Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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