i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize