Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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