Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
