O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
