Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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