Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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