kristin has been a bad kristin
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
