Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
