I think I won the penis lottery.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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