exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
