Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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