Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
