i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
