Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
