You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
