i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
