all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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