He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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