Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
