this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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