Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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