I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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