Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
