I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
