how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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