Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
ttyl tear gas
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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