Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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