Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
