Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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