honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
