I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
