Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
