I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Are my feet made of real feet?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
