I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
