Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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