community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
