His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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