I looked at my own cervix.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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