If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
