Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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