she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
