i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
