you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
