Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
