Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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