Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
handjob tips. give me some.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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