Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
